Sarah’s Birth

My friend Sarah* was my very first doula client, 2 years ago.  She wasn’t sure she wanted me at her actual birth, but I helped her find resources and leant her my books on natural childbirth and breastfeeding, and offered to help her with breastfeeding support and any questions afterwards if she wanted.  In the end she didn’t call me for the birth, which was totally fine: a doula for every woman who wants one is the DONA slogan…Not a doula for every woman whether she likes it or not…

Sarah planned a hospital birth 2 years ago but dilated so well and so quickly that she hit 9 cm before anyone really clued into the fact that she was in and through transition!  She had been toying with the idea of home birth in the week or so previous, reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and loving the home birth stories in it.  When she hit 9 cm in her ensuite bathroom she looked up at her midwife and said,
“Getting in the car right now sounds disgusting.  Can we just stay home?”  So they did.  And she had a cute, chubby, 8 lb 8 oz little boy named Solomon..

When I was in the hospital with Amarys I took a bag of Sarah’s breastmilk with me to the hospital in case my gestational diabetes gave my baby blood sugar problems and the hospital wanted to supplement. When Sarah got pregnant again and her milk dried up, she asked for a bag of my milk to give to Solomon as a boost for his system when he had 18 month immunizations.  We’re the milk sisters!

After Sol was born Sarah said she wished I’d been there, because she felt a little like she would have liked a little more nurturing, and could see how an extra woman in the room whose only job is to focus on you and boost your confidence would be really great.  So when she got pregnant again, she sent me a message and asked me to be her doula for the birth this time.  Absolutely!  Doula for a home delivery of one of my close friends?  SIGN ME UP!  That’s pretty cool.  I mean, doula for a hospital delivery of one of my close friends is also my favourite!  But it is nice when I can live vicariously with the home birth part, since I never got my home birth.

I said YES!  But with the caveat that I couldn’t guarantee I could come: my husband’s work is so much in flux that it is hard to line up child care, and with Amarys so little I hate to be away from her for too long.  And I especially hate to be away and have her not be with her daddy.

The morning of October 31st at 5:18 a.m. my phone beeped with a text, which I accidentally slept through.  Brent came home from his night shift and woke me up.  I checked my messages and freaked out: Sarah was in labour!  And wanted me to come quickly!  And this message was two hours old!
I ran around like I was crazy, getting dressed and tossing school notices at my husband for our older kids, and sent Sarah a message that I was coming.  I received a text in return:

FYI she’s pushing.
Oh no!  I’m going to miss it!!
I got to Sarah’s house half an hour later and snuck upstairs, expecting to hear Waaa, Waaa in cute newborn vowels, but instead I heard GRRRRRRRRRRAAAWWWWWWW in hardworking birthing momma consonants.  SQUEE!  I MADE IT!

Solomon was born after 13 hours of labour, and 15 minutes of pushing, in Sarah’s bathroom.
Mary was born after 2 hours of labour, and 2 hours of pushing, on her bedroom floor.  Talk about unexpected!!

Sarah worked haaaaard, with little progress, for so long.  Her midwives were amazing, and had every trick in the book going.  They listened frequently to the baby’s heartbeat, which was healthy.  In the end, the baby was ‘sunny side up’ which means face up instead of face down.  Sarah’s midwives had her lie on one side, then the other, then on her hands and knees, then upright, and finally on her back like a turtle on its shell.  An occiput presenting (OP) baby makes for a much more difficult, slower, more painful delivery, and in this case, no progress in moving that baby down until finally one midwife reached in on a contraction, pushed the baby’s head up, and turned it (the baby had already turned partially, but not all the way), and within fifteen minutes, out slid a 10 lb 1 oz baby girl!  She was a bit stunned~big babies often are~but she recovered very quickly with no intervention.  And Sarah didn’t tear at all.
Women are amazing!

I went back later that evening with a bag of milk  There was some discussion as to the possible need for formula *if* the baby got shaky or had blood sugar regulation issues, and I know Sarah feels as strongly as I do about using human milk for her babies, so I volunteered a bag of milk just in case.  I knew she wouldn’t need it, and she agreed.  Breastfeeding confidence can be a bit like labour confidence; it is good to watch for signs of danger, but too much loud talk about What Can Go Wrong can interfere with the natural process and create problems as well as aid them.  I also helped her assess her latch, and burp baby Mary, and debrief the birth.  I got to take photos of Solomon’s first meeting with his baby sister.  It was awesome.  Sarah is amazing.  And so is her husband, and their whole family is just so beautiful.  I feel electrified with birth high, and dizzy with the privilege of being witness to such powerful moments in other peoples’ lives.   Being present for these moments is like viewing outer space through a powerful telescope; awe inspiring and humbling.  And so, so beautiful.

Mary

Welcome to the world, baby Mary!!  I’m so glad to have had the privilege of being one of the first people on earth to meet you.  You are beautiful.  And your mom is a Superstar ♥

*names changed for privacy