“Breast milk is not a scarce commodity, it’s a free-flowing resource. With the advance of social media, women who are willing to share their breastmilk can now easily connect with families who need milk for their children. We at HM4HB are thrilled to see women and families asserting their autonomy to do what is healthy, normal and ecological. Families are making informed choices to share breastmilk and babies everywhere are thriving as a result.”
~Emma Kwasnica, founder, HM4HB
The following post is reprinted from last fall, and describes my journey with milksharing…
What did women used to do in the days before artificial baby milk, when their babies needed milk they couldn’t pvide? Milk share! Women have been networking long before the internet! Most people have heard of ‘wet nurses,’ women who were paid money to breastfeed another woman’s baby. These wet nurses were generally from lower income families, nursing babies from wealthy families. But there were also countless times when women were ill or traveling without their babies, or unable to provide adequate amounts of milk, when sisters, neighbours, and good friends would step in to nurse each other’s babies. This tradition continues today.
You likely remember the story of my friends Melissa and Geoff who gave birth in July to baby Brayden. Melissa is one of my best friends, and I was her doula. Since my name is also Melissa, hopefully this post won’t be too confusing. To help I will refer to Melissa as Melissa K, and to myself in the first person.
I had my fourth baby on March 1st. I am currently nursing her nearly exclusively; I say ‘nearly’ since she just started eating solid food last week, and I also nurse her three year old brother two to three times per day. Tandem nursing is not something I’ve done before but it is working out well. Breastmilk capacity is based upon supply and demand; what a child or children demand, a woman’s body will supply. Thus, I have enough milk for both my children.
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Little Amarys, getting into trouble |
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Nursing my three year old |
I tend to struggle with oversupply, although this time around I have managed my supply well enough to have few of the problems associated with producing too much milk. People often comment that I’m fortunate to have oversupply, and I would rather have too much than too little milk, but an over abundant supply of milk carries problems and difficulties which can be quite challenging. But, on the bright side, having abundant milk means I was able to donate hundreds of ounces of milk to the breastmilk bank at BC Women’s Hospital in 2003, provide my adopted son with 14 months worth of pumped breastmilk, and now, to tandem nurse my baby and my toddler. It also helped me when Melissa K. texted me three weeks after Brayden was born to say that he was not yet at his birth weight, had gained only 1.5 ounces in the previous week, and did I have any tips? She was being strongly advised to supplement by her midwife. She didn’t want to use formula but was also very worried about Brayden’s minimal weight gain.
Yikes! 1.5 ounces in one week?! This baby needed milk, and he needed it today. In all of Canada there is only one human milk bank and the milk there is designated for sick NICU babies who need all they can get, so banked human milk was not an option. I texted her, “You can always use donor milk.” There is an organization I had read about called Human Milk For Human Babies (formerly Eats on Feets), which facilitates woman to woman milk sharing all over the world. I also know several women who have shared milk when babies are in need, including Amy from Anktangle who provided my friend Rachel from Clearly Speaking with pumped supplemental milk for six months when Rachel struggled to provide a full supply for her son Bennett. I also follow Cinco De Mommy, who uses donor milk from a handful of friends to provide breastmilk for her fifth baby who was born after a breast reduction. I offered that since we are close friends and I live nearby, Melissa K. could use some of my milk as a supplement. She and Geoff jumped with joy at the idea of using donated milk rather than use formula. I drove over that night to drop off eleven ounces of pumped milk that I happened to have in my freezer, and sat down and made a plan with them in order to help Melissa K get her milk supply back up to as full a capacity as possible. Dr. Jack Newman is an excellent resource on increasing milk supply.
In the case of very slow weight gain in a newborn baby, particularly not returning to birth weight by three weeks of age (which is bordering on the failure to thrive category), it is important to address the problem by separating it into three separate issues: first, feed the baby. Second, work to increase milk supply. Third, teach the baby to breastfeed. Melissa K and Geoff decided to use my milk to supplement what Melissa was making, addressing “feed the baby.” They rented a good quality pump and Melissa started taking herbal and prescription galactogogues to address “increasing milk supply.” A visit with a lactation consultant revealed ways to improve Brayden’s latch so he could drain the breast more fully.
For the past five weeks, Geoff comes by my house at 8:30 every morning, Tuesday through Friday. I pump several ounces before I go to bed, and several more in the morning when I wake up, and I leave the milk out on my front stoop with some ice for him to pick up. Tuesdays I have three or four bags for him, stockpiled over the weekend, and Brayden happily drinks it up.
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Sometimes while I’m pumping, Amarys gets hungry… |
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My three sons are fascinated by my pump, and the resulting milk which is nicknamed “Brayden’s milkies” |
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Milk on the stoop |
Human milk sharing isn’t for everyone. Some parents are more comfortable using formula rather than live milk from a donor [some would likely prefer pasteurized human milk from a milk bank, which is of course not available in Canada, although it is possible to purchase human milk from some U.S. milk banks who ship to Canada for approximately $3 to $5 per ounce]. But others prefer the benefits of live human milk, and the age old tradition of milk sharing is making a comeback. Melissa K and Geoff have recieved donor milk from another friend as well, particularly when I go out of town for several days, or experience dips in my supply.
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Brayden, 4 weeks old and well past his birth weight |
Since working intensely hard to increase her supply, after five weeks Melissa K has been able to provide most of what Brayden needs, and supplements in the afternoons and evenings with donated milk. She still pumps numerous times throughout the day and takes herbs and prescription medication to keep her supply up. For the first few weeks she supplemented with my milk after every feed, but now after five weeks she is able to provide most of what he needs, and I just fill in the gaps. Last week he weighed in at 9 pounds, 8 ounces, with cute chubby cheeks to prove it.
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Hunk-a-chunk cheeks |
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He’s such a happy go lucky guy. Isn’t he cute? ♥ |
Here is an update on how Brayden is doing NOW, written to me by his dad;
And we’re proud to say that Brayden is now 14.5 months old and a very healthy and incredibly happy little guy! When Brayden was 6 months old, he started taking some solids and Melissa was able to slowly go off all the herbal and prescription meds that she was taking. My beautiful wife now has more than enough milk for our little guy, who still feeds 2-3 times a day. Thanks Melissa for all your support and help (and milk!)
You are most welcome. Thank YOU for allowing us to share your story. And allowing me to be such a big part of Brayden’s life. ♥
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And we’re proud to say that Brayden is now 14.5 months old and a very healthy and incredibly happy little guy! When Brayden was 6 months old, he started taking some solids and Melissa was able to slowly go off all the herbal and prescription meds that she was taking. My beautiful wife now has more than enough milk for our little guy, who still feeds 2-3 times a day. Thanks Melissa for all your support and help (and milk!)